Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Christine Rimmer

One of the things I'm trying to do over the next several weeks is give you a chance to meet the RITA finalists in the Short Contemporary Category. :-) It's an awe-inspiring list and I'm pleased as punch to introduce my first RITA guest to the blog today - DOUBLE finalist Christine Rimmer.

And you're going to want to read on, because there are books up for grabs...


Kids Say the Darnedest Things…and You Can Win!


--by Christine Rimmer

Hi everyone.  So great to be here on the fabulous Donna’s blog!

And as far as kids saying the darnedest things…

They do, they do.  Art Linkletter knew it, back in the ‘50s.   He had a “Kids Say the Darndest Things” segment of his daily show, Art Linkletter’s House Party.  And Bill Cosby had a whole show dedicated to the cute things kids will say back at the turn of the Millennium.

My own kids?  A total laugh-riot.  What I love about what kids will say is the way they will nail what’s really going on.  They’re so literal, and a whole lot smarter than grownups often realize.

When older son was very small—this was before I became his stepmom—DH and older son and the rest of the family went on a trip to San Francisco.  They stayed at a nice hotel.  Older son, seven or so, was entranced by the upscale amenities: the high, frescoed ceilings, the dramatic light fixtures, the fruit basket in the sitting room of their suite, the chocolates on the pillow.  When DH tucked him into bed, he snuggled down with a wide grin.  “Dad. This place is ‘spensive.”  When DH said yes, it was, he beamed wider.  “Look at us,” he declared.  “Aren’t we fancy cows!?”  Thus, in our family, whenever anyone gets an overblown idea of himself, we say, “Well, aren’t you a fancy cow?”

Once, when younger son was small, he and I were in the car together.  His carseat was in back, but we were waiting for DH and older son to accomplish some task long forgotten.  I let younger son get up in front to listen to the radio with me.  I believe I was playing something by Jimi Hendrix.  For a while, he rocked out, bouncing in the seat, snapping his fingers.  Then, out of nowhere, he reached out and turned off the radio.  He sat back in the seat and folded his little hands in his lap.  “Mom.  Let’s have a little piece of quiet.”

Sometimes kids say the hardest things.  In my books, the children often play important roles.  In a book I wrote a few years back, Having Tanner Bravo’s Baby, the hero’s niece, DeDe, who never knew her dad until she was nine, cries, “My dad came back and it ruined my life!”

And when DH and I first got together, younger son was 18 months old, walking—and talking nonstop.  In fact, the kid in the sunglasses?  That would be younger son at about a year old.  He loved those glasses.  They were Harlequin glasses, given to each and every lucky author at a fabulous Harlequin party way back when.

And where was I?  Ah, yes.  Younger son’s clever remarks.  Once when I took him over to DH’s for an evening, DH knelt when were leaving and said to younger son, “Come back soon. And bring your mom.”  Younger son’s eyes got wide as dinner plates. “Oh, no.  She’s much too heavy.  I could never carry her.”

I could tell you a thousand more brilliant and insightful things uttered by the amazing children I have known.  But I’m curious.  What about you?

Any great quotes from kids you have known?  Share, share!

Oh.  And did I mention a prize?  I’m thinking the two books of mine that made the RITA finals this year: Donovan’s Child and A Bravo Homecoming.  Leave a comment for a chance to win both books, signed by yours truly.  And thanks for stopping in!  Come visit me any time at www.christinerimmer.com




32 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:06 a.m.

    When my eldest son was three, my brother got married and my now ex partner was best man, just as the vicar said 'Does any one know of any reason why these two should not be married.' my son pipes up why is my dad stood over there. Everyone was in stitches and it took five minutes to continue with the ceremony as everyone was laughing so hard.

    Charlotte xx

    charlottemcfall27@yahoo.co.uk

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    1. Charlotte, I love that story. We have a similar one in my family. When my cousin got married, my little sister was three. My dad was best man. My little sister cried all through the ceremony. Finally, she wailed, "Why is Daddy marrying Earlene?"

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  2. love reading about your kids saying the funniest thing-its so true, my son would ask so many questions and do so many funny things..the time we went to my cousins wedding reception and the whole time he was running back and forth with the hunting dogs in ther dog run, he was 8months old. Watching the video thats all you see is this little boy running with the dogs, not the bride and groom.I've read both these books just wanted to make a comment, love your books!

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    1. Bookworm, thank you! Oh, I can just see that little boy running with the dogs. 8 months old! He was an early walker--er, runner!

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  3. yes, i'm agreed with you christine. I always wonder why they can tell or do the thing that we will say or thinkg "they are just a kids, right?"

    you are a new author for me, hope i can read your book soon :)

    eli_y83@yahoo.com

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    1. Hi Eli, thanks for coming by. :) And yep, they are just kids. And they know and see a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for. Yikes!

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  4. Not sure if this qualifies as a quote, but when my son was in elementary school, maybe 3rd or 4th grade, his teacher told the class they were all old enough to start wearing deoderant. So we went shopping and picked him up the same deoderant as his dad. He excitedly went upstairs and when he came down I noticed a smear of something across his forehead. I asked what it was and he proudly told me, "I put the deoderant everywhere I sweat!"

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    1. Wendy, what a great story. You know your son will never have a stinky forehead! And it kind of makes you wonder what inspired the teacher to suggest deodorant...hmm. ;)

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  5. I LOVE all of these "darndest" comments! Gotta watch out for our kids, since they really do hit the nail on the head. My son Joseph is 28 now - he always had a lot to say from the time he was very young! One time when mom and I were at a parent-teacher meeting (Joseph was about five or so), the teachers asked Joseph to bring someone to one of the offices since Joseph always made it his business to learn the layout of places right away - he turned to us, and said, "Mom - Grandmom - a moment!" and he left on his errand - it was all everyone could do to keep a straight face!

    Also, when he was in fifth or sixth grade, he was a caller on a local radio program sponsored by our Archdiocese - there were two priests who had been elevated to Auxiliary Bishops - one of whom we had met a few times - Joseph got to meet him when he was six years old before he had his tonsillectomy - and part of Joseph's introduction, in addition to mentioning the meeting in the hospital was "I'm the white kid with the black hair. Do you remember me?" Of COURSE they did - LOL. He had such a hopeful expression on his face...and that phone call was also part of a "Best Of" program when this program celebrated it's first anniversary on the air. They WERE very impressed with how articulate he was!

    Felicia
    mrschopchop@verizon.net

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    1. Felicia! Joseph sounds wonderful. I love the really well-spoken kids, the ones who start sentences with "Actually," when they're like three. Great stories! You're so right. They do hit the nail on the head!

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  6. C-Jay M1:16 p.m.

    I have two kids 19 months apart. I remember once being very angry with something they had done and very harshly saying they had better not do it again, ending with, "Do I make myself clear?" My daughter, Amanda, the oldest, looked at me with tears in hers eyes and said, "No mommy; don't be a skeleton!" My son, Mason, was always saying funny things. Once, when we eating dinner, we were urging him to finish his vegetables. He didn't want to eat anymore, because he was 'full' and wanted dessert. When asked how he could eat dessert if he was too full to eat his vegetables, he said the Vegetable Hole in his stomach was full, but his Dessert Hole was empty. He used to say he had a 98 pound brain, and I gotta say, he sure came up with some good arguments!

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    1. C-Jay, that is a big brain on that boy! I so relate. My vegetable hole is often full. My Dessert Hole? Never! Also love the skeleton comment. Wonderful!

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Okay, so I removed the above comment because I MOVED it to where it belonged, as a reply to Felicia. But Blogger won't let me remove it completely, so I feel compelled to explain. Argh. ;)

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  8. Once, when my son was 4 or so, we were sitting in the waiting room at the pediatrician's office. He was looking at their copy of Illustrated Bible Stories, i.e., "Adam and Eve." An very competent-looking, school teacher-ish, elderly woman sitting nearby asked him if he knew who those people were. "Oh, yes," he assured her. "That's Tarzan. And that's Jane." Oddly enough, she didn't ask him any more questions.

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    1. Cheryl! Luckily, I wasn't drinking coffee when I read your comment. Tarzan and Jane in the Garden of Eden! Oh, yeah! LOLOL!

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  9. We have dubbed my youngest's comments "Scottisms" because he comes up with the funniest ways of looking at things. As an example--We don't let our children drink pop very often and when he was six, he was at a neighbourhood event and picked a prize of a can of cola. I asked him why and he got the most stubbornest look on his face and said "Because I wanted it and even if I have to wait 'til I'm eighteen to drink it then I will."

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  10. Stacy, sounds like the Scottisms keep your world full of humor and love. What a guy! So...is he still waiting to drink that coke???

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  11. When my oldest was only about 3, a very loud car passed us. She covered her ears, screwed up her nose and said "That car is so loud it hurts my feelings"!

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  12. Marcy, oh, I love that! Perfect. :)

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  13. LOL these are so funny to read.

    And yes, Christine. About a monthy later for a special Hockey Night in Canada LOL

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    1. But not 18 yet? Right? I just had this image of that can sitting in his room. As he waited. And waited. And waited...

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  14. Love the whole "aren't you a fancy cow?" ... that kills me.

    I remember when my parents came to visit and my son was about 3. We were showing them around our house and we were in the bathroom when he trotted in, looked around and said "wow, it's cleeean!" ... clearly I need to do more on a day-to-day basis ...

    Thanks for the great post!!!

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    1. Nikki, there is something about the two words "fancy" and "cow" that just...I don't know. Where do they come up with these things???

      And re the story of your 3-year-old son: priceless!

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  15. Hilarious post and I'm Lol'ing at all the comments! Made my day!

    Thanks for a great post!

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    1. Nas, so glad you liked it. And the comments are wonderful, aren't they? Really kept me laughing. And nodding. And say, "oh, yeah!"

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  16. So I just wanted to mention that I'll be drawing a winner for Christine tomorrow, and then passing the info along to her. :-)

    Nikki - oh boy, now I'm just waiting for you to call me a fancy cow. Christine, did you know Nikki is a member of my chapter and a GH finalist this year??? She IS a fancy cow!

    When my daughter was in kindergarden I think we were walking home from school. I said "Guess who was on Dr. Phil today?" She said "Who?" I replied, "Hilary Duff."

    Without missing a beat she answered - with her big blue eyes wide and innocent and her blonde curls bobbing: "$hit I wish I'd seen that."

    I had to turn my head for several seconds before delivering a lecture on appropriate language.

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  17. Donna! LOL! Why is it always so dang funny when kids say inappropriate things? We not only have to talk to them calmly about language and its use, we have to NOT laugh while we're doing it.

    Nancy, Congrats, you fancy cow, you! I'll be there in Anaheim to cheer you on! We can all be fancy cows together!

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  18. Hi there, Christine! Congratulations on being a *double* Rita finalist! Yay, you! I enjoyed your post so much, and the hilarious comments that followed. I have one of my own about my nephew. After church one day he was excited to share what he’d learned in Sunday school. “The devil was bad,” he said with a solemn shake of his head. “ and the Lord cast him out of heaven.” Then he thought a second and added, “That fishing rod must have been HUGE.”

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    1. Kathy, Thanks! I would love to meet your nephew. The Lord does work in...mysterious ways. Not to mention He's quite the angler.

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  19. Felicia, you're Christine's winner! If you can e-mail me your information at donnaalward@hotmail.com, I'll pass it on to Christine. :-)

    Thanks!

    DOnna

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    1. Donna, thanks so much for inviting me on the blog. And I'll be cheering for you at the RITAs. Wahoo!

      And Felicia, big congrats! Everyone, thanks for dropping by!

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