This morning I am contemplating how often I look like an idiot because I laugh a lot. I LOVE to laugh. Laughing feels good in every way - mind, body and soul. I cannot imagine not being able to laugh - and when I was ill several years ago my husband said it was what he really missed about me - I didn't laugh anymore. And when I did begin laughing again, he said he knew that was when he knew I was okay again.
And not just laughing. I like being silly.
Last night was the last night of volleyball for my daughter and she said that it was billed as parents vs. kids and would I go. I love volleyball and despite my lamentable age, weight, and state of fitness I said sure. If I want to reverse the weight thing, hiding in a corner isn't going to fix it. So off I went. Guess how many other parents went? ONE. Luckily it was the mom of one of my daughter's school teammates, and so when the game started it was about 12 girls vs. 4 of us - two on-the-downhill-slide-to-40 moms and the two high school boys who run the program (who were great fun, btw).
I did better than I expected - I wasn't at all sure I could still overhand serve but first time it sailed over the net and the look on my daughter's face was priceless.
I made a few good returns, missed a few more, and laughed A LOT. I laughed at my daughter and her friends who were silly, I laughed when I dove for a ball, bumped it and then realized my bum hip was going to pay the price, I laughed at the boys who hammed it up, I talked a little smack to my daughter who gave it right back...I'm sure they thought we were crazy.
So I probably looked like a total idiot. But boy, I had fun. I came home and took a few advil for the hip while commenting that my tummy hurt from laughing so hard.
I thought about the other parents sitting on the bleachers talking and looking very parental and dignified and kind of felt sorry for them. Then I wondered if maybe letting my inner child out to play (who is somewhere in the 12-14 age) was a good thing.
But then we were driving home and my daughter and I were STILL laughing and she said, "You know, you can be really witchy sometimes, but when we have fun, we REALLY have fun." I'm not sure everyone gets our wacky sense of humour, and I know it must appear that I haven't grown up, but I'm still known as The Hammer (rules are rules, you know) and I'm pretty strict. But having boundaries has NOTHING to do with having fun and laughing. My kids talk to me. We enjoy doing things together. And I don't plan to change that anytime soon.