Yesterday I mentioned that I'd be posting an interesting topic today and I can only say it's been interesting for me the last few days as I kind of had a look at myself as, probably, someone else might look at me and then looked at me from the inside.
When I was a teenager, I was boy crazy. People said it; it was true. I didn't actually date anywhere near as often as people thought, but I had lots of crushes and for a long time, I figured that was just me being a teen.
However, I recently came to the shocking discovery that I'm STILL boy crazy. And this after spending 16 years with my husband and having a couple of kids!
The truth is, I still appreciate good looks, strong character, charisma. And I'll say so.
Here's an example. At church last week we had a guest speaker who was young, reasonably attractive, and just struck me as intelligent. I made a couple of flippant comments and then later, during coffee, spoke to him with a group of others.
The mistake people make I think is with the perception. There is a vast difference between appreciating someone's looks or sense of humour or intelligence (you'll hear this often, I think a sharp brain is astoundingly attractive) and being interested in being with them on a personal level. Number one, my eyes aren't broken and never have been. And number two, I simply like people. So I appreciate the package and enjoy talking to and learning about people. Was I "interested" in this person? Of course not. I'm happily married. Was I interested ABOUT this person? Absolutely.
So let's jump back a decade or so and to my teenage years. Was I in love with all those crushes? Of course not. So why was it I had them to begin with?
And this week suddenly it ALL made sense.
Before I even knew I was going to be a writer, I got caught up in the drama of "What if". I saw boys - men - as potential heroes of a situation. At sixteen, I was the heroine. Now my horizons have broadened considerably. Now it's a general curiosity and study of character. Who is this person? What has shaped him? Why does he look intelligent? What is it in his eyes that gives a woman that jolt in the gut?
Hah. Turns out I'm not boy crazy at all. I'm character crazy. What a relief!
Let's face it folks, if you care to look, PEOPLE ARE INTERESTING. As a writer of character driven books, I want to know!!!!!!!! So all this time I thought I was boy crazy it turns out I really just like to see people as a big picture and see possibilities. What would happen to him if he went here, or met this sort of person? Scenes start unfolding in my mind. It's all about the potential.
Do I do this with women? Not as much, but then AS a woman I think naturally I gravitate towards heroes a lot. But I can give you an example. When I was in London, we had lunch at a pub and there was a couple sitting at a table. The woman was stunning. Simply gorgeous, with fine skin and beautiful hair and eyes that would bring any man to his knees...a sense of style and yet a sweetness that said she didn't use the package as power. I could see her right away as a heroine. Who is she? What does she do for a living? What kind of situation could I put her in so she's in conflict?
That doesn't make me woman crazy either, it just makes me curious and creative.
Let me just say, this has been a revelation.
Now that I've let it all hang out....for you writers out there....do you get this? or am I completely out to lunch?