Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Patience

Or lack thereof.

I'm suffering from an extreme lack of patience.

There comes a point where waiting just becomes agonising. The very best cure for waiting is working, and since I'm working 16 hour days you'd think I'd be ok on the patience thing. But I'm not.

I think I've figured out why. It's because I'm SO busy.

Right now everything is on a list. It has to be that way or I forget it. So my brain is completely oriented to list-type thinking.

For instance, I made a list of everything I needed to do after I got home yesterday. A critique. Book orders for kids, homework. An insurance claim, a form to mail, the towels in the dryer. (Yes, even the towels. They've been in the dryer since Monday morning.) I had to send an e-mail to staffing at work and write a letter to a parent so I can send it home today.

Everything got crossed off the list except my edits, but that's a week long project anyway.

So now I have this mental list and nothing is getting crossed off. It's driving me crazy. I keep reminding myself that the rest of the world does NOT revolve around MY schedule. But I'm waiting to hear on a partial at M&B and it's been nearly 12 weeks. My last got requested within 6. I'm waiting on release dates. I'm waiting for the post office to deliver my copy of my latest contract.

The trouble is compounded by the fact that I don't KNOW the outcome of the first two of these things. The post WILL deliver my contract. But the other stuff...less concrete. Which means I'm not in control.

I'm big on control, by the way. I can deal with just about anything, as long as I know. It's the NOT KNOWING that's excruciating.

So fingers crossed I'll hear soon on both counts and I can be put out of my misery...

3 comments:

  1. I wonder sometimes if there's really such a thing as patience. I think it's something some nut dreamed up to make us all feel bad for not having any :-). I hope you hear something soon!

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  2. And a massive thank you for doing the critque so promptly. It was very kind of you.

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  3. No problem Michelle! it was a pleasure!

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