Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Confession is good for the soul

I just did something stupid and feel like a total craphead.

One of the little guys from school was running home and went by me screeching at the top of his lungs. My 5 yr old said "________ screamed like a girl." Of course I agreed with her but stupidly for me he was still in earshot and I think it hurt his feelings.

Not only that but his big sister was there and when I would have apologized she took his hand and took off.

I may have an overactive guilt complex, but I feel horrible. I wish, when I'd asked, they had stopped so I could have told him I was sorry. I will see him tomorrow at school but have horrific thoughts of his big sister going home and telling their mother about the awful lady at the playground.

Dumb, dumb dumb me and my big mouth. I hate it when I do something thoughtless like speaking without thinking. And I don't like knowing I've been responsible for hurting someone's feelings since 99.9% of the time I try to be a compassionate person.

And for a confession, I really don't feel any better.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Donna,

    Try not to worry too much, you must be a nice person to feel so guilty and if the mother does say something you could apologise and explain that you just weren't thinking straight!

    Your post struck a note with me because I've lately reread Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye (which if you haven't read it - is an extremely painful account of a young girls experience of being bullied at school) and it has reminded me of this girl at school who me and my friends sometimes picked on.

    This girl was very mildly intellectually impaired and physically unattractive.

    We were really unkind and her school life must have been utterly miserable.

    I really wish I could go back and behave differently the second time around!!

    Anyway. Sorry just to drop into your blog and rave like a loony but I've called in here a few times and do enjoy your posts!

    Becky

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  2. Becky, comment anytime!

    I talked to his teacher yesterday morning and when she said I wanted to talk to him he looked scared. She said, "you're not in trouble!" I laughed and said, no, I'm in trouble. And said I was sorry if I hurt his feelings. He was a complete cutie about it.

    I think that even as adults we owe children the same courtesty as anyone else and when we do something wrong they deserve that apology as much as anyone else.

    Hey, at least I know I have a conscience! LOL

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